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College
Freshmen :
Issues With Which To Deal - Page 2About
Your First Roommates
Many college freshmen have roommates with which
they form friendships that last well beyond their college
years. Not all freshmen are that lucky, however. In fact,
many freshmen despise their roommates, their living
habits, or both. A few try to work out their differences
in a mature fashion...by setting "the rules," but
this only creates more tension and a lack of at-home
comfort. Some students pursue roommate
counseling sessions but not every college offers such
guidance. In a few cases, the situation becomes so bad
that one roommate often ends up petitioning the school for
a change of dorms but such is not always possible
either.
It is impractical to think that all people of
the world will always get along with each other no matter
how easy-going they may be. If you've never shared a room
with someone before, you're almost certainly going to find
some "quirks" in the habits of your roommate
with which you disagree or disapprove. Remember that no
one is perfect and everyone is raised a little bit
differently. The best advice we can offer is to practice tolerance.
Your roommate might like to do dishes several hours after
eating... or (s)he might be a "neat freak." But
if
you expect there to be some differences between
the two of you... and
if you tolerate any such basic differences you experience,
you'll be a far better person..and a far better
roommate. Rather than worrying if your roommate likes
you-- try to find reasons to like your roommate. When
you're worried about "improving" your roommate,
consider whether or not you can improve yourself. It's far
easier for YOU to make a change in YOU than to make one in
someone else! But when drastic differences and problems
caused by your roommate create health or study problems, be open, honest, and considerate in discussing
them. Try to save outside meditation as
a last resort as it may only create further tension
between the two of you. Don't ever engage in physical violence
with a roommate: Many laws have been passed which put
fighting with roommates under the criminal justice headings
as "domestic violence" and penalties can be
quite severe. Fighting simply isn't "stylish"
anymore in college. Be mature and discuss your feelings
openly.
It is going to be far easier to find fault
with your roommate than it will be to find any of their
positive qualities. This is only human nature. Make a conscious effort
to decide what you like about the person with which you
live. And if you're in a situation where you just can't do
that, remember: you're not going to have to be with that
same roommate forever! Most schools let students
choose their own roommates after their first year
ends. But during that first trying year, you're usually
stuck with the "best match" they could find for
you on paper. Alot of schools offer the opportunity to apply for a
"solo dorm" but here at CollegeFreshmen.Net,
we believe the disadvantages to living alone far outweigh
any of the advantages -- especially for first year students.
There are always worse things in life than a roommate you
can't stand! Make the best of the situation and you'll come
out a far better person in the end!
Recommended Reading : An
interesting article on college roommates by the Milwaukee
Journal Sentinel can be found here..
A more humorous look at the issue is posted at magorder.com
and some more general advice on handling the social
pressures of that first year of college can be found by
clicking HERE!
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